Kids Cards

Out of the mouths of babes, right? Or, what I think they would say if they could. I’m always looking for funny vintage kid pictures. And here you have them…

"Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it."

Jean Kerr

It's my fourth brain fart today!!!

I swear to God, if he's NOT asking for directions...

Chocolate!!

It's off to Clown Jail.

Uh Oh! Where's the lady with the diapers?

An empty diaper and a head full of plans

EXcellent!!

You are FABulous! (as am I)

Great, my life is in the funny papers. Again!

That's how I roll, Sister!

They don't have my size!!

You talking to me?

Let's talk about your pottymouth...

Oh my, I do believe I have the vapors...

Roomy? I'm riding my Vespa right now.

I shopped 'til I dropped!

Yeah, my panties are in a wad. Your point being?

Just because it fits doesn't mean you should wear it.

Another wardrobe malfunction.

Let's blow this pop stand.

So then, my Visa card just exPLOded!!

Did someone lose weight? 'Cause I think I found it.

Seriously...I need a drink.

Well, if I'm not the Queen, I'd like to know who is!!

Even girl pushups make me tired!

I should NOT have started that second bottle.

I hate this family!

I would like a pizza. A very large pizza.

Yeah, we'll get right on that, Bosshole!

why yes, another slice of cheesecake would be lovely.

I got a new clothes rack!!

Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse!!

Mondays! Am I right?

Doc, none of my personalities like me.

I think you overestimate my capacity to give a shit!

My ball. My rules.

OMG! I haven't taken a selfie in like ten minutes!

Yo, I think I made this plate when I was doing a nickel in the state pen.

I kind of have a think for shoes.

Well, crap! What did I come in here for?

Oh, you heard right! I am seriously badass!

Casual Fridays are out of control.

You ooze confidence!

The last guy who called me "honey is in my crawlspace.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't see sprinkles on this cupcake!

I'm hanging on your every word.

Some of us are born glamorous!

Happy Birthday, dammit!

You're HOW old? Happy Birthday...I guess...

You don't need to say it. I know I look good.

When he starts mansplaining...

Early onset manspreading.

Hard to believe, but I'm not really a morning person.

My pet peeves? How much time do you have?

I hope when I meet Prince Charming...

Shit's 'bout to get real up in here!

I'm psyched for Taco Tuesday.

Dog Cards

Dogs. To know them is to love them. They are the best greeters, little creatures that wiggle into our hearts, relentless exercise reminders, best friends, a warm spot on the couch, a reminder that we are not the be-all and end-all in the world.

"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really."

Agnes Sligh Turnbull